While You Were Drinking: A daughter’s journey
My short memoir about my mom and our complex relationship was published in 2014 by the ebook publisher Shebooks.
Here’s the catalogue copy:
What can a daughter do when the mother she loves is bent on destroying herself? With lyricism and honesty, memoirist Lydia Bird chronicles the unlikely course of her mother’s alcoholism—and the power and limitations of their bond. Through stories spanning four decades and three continents, Bird embarks on an unsparing quest to understand her past and find forgiveness. In the process, she paints an unforgettable portrait of addiction, betrayal, and the unexpected joy that can prevail on the far side of loss.
Here’s the “editor’s blurb” from the publisher:
“Lydia Bird does what the best memoirists do—she brings out the humanity in even the most difficult, unlikable characters and holds herself up for judgment. I found this family memoir, which spans four decades, unforgettable.”
—Paula Derrow
And here’s a Q&A from the Shebooks blog:
Q What prompted you to write While You Were Drinking?
I’ve been writing about my relationship with my mom for decades. In fact, one of the chapters of While You Were Drinking was first fictionalized as a short story back in 1979. This material is central to who I am, and I keep wanting to dig deeper with it. It was gratifying—and therapeutic—to reshape these six stories into a short memoir.
Q When did you realize you wanted to be a writer?
When I was maybe eight years old, a friend of my parents asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I said, “A poet.” I have no idea where that answer came from—I didn’t grow up in a particularly literary family—but I started writing compulsively not long afterward, and haven’t stopped since. I even won a poetry prize in college, though it’d be a stretch to call myself a poet.
Q Have you ever experienced sexism as a woman writer? How so?
My first mainstream publication was a 5,000-word feature article in Sports Illustrated. It was about my father’s life-changing experience lost at sea in a small boat, and I wrote it—and queried about it—in his voice. It wasn’t until the magazine made an offer that I confessed that the story was written not by the protagonist but by his daughter—not just a woman, but a 24-year-old! To say they were chagrined is to put it mildly. After some negotiating, we finally agreed that the check would go to me, but the byline would be solely my father’s. To give them credit, they didn’t try to renegotiate the payment amount, which remains the most I’ve ever been paid per word for my writing.
Q Do you currently have a job other than writing? What other day jobs have you had?
I’m a freelance editor, working directly with authors on their book projects. Other jobs? I taught sailing for years. I cleaned rooms at a military base in Germany, helped restore an old farmhouse in Provence, cooked on a charter boat in the Caribbean and catered private dinner parties in Paris. I wrote resumes for a resume service. I worked for a private investigator. I groomed thoroughbreds at Hollywood Park and Arabians at a breeding farm in the Santa Ynez Valley. A lot of these experiences have found their way into my writing.
Q What projects are you working on now?
I’m developing a couple of storytelling ideas for radio—a very different form of writing than polishing every word for print, but great fun. I’m also finishing the work-in-progress memoir from which While You Were Drinking was excerpted. It’s about seeking out family secrets, and also letting them go.
Here’s the catalogue copy:
What can a daughter do when the mother she loves is bent on destroying herself? With lyricism and honesty, memoirist Lydia Bird chronicles the unlikely course of her mother’s alcoholism—and the power and limitations of their bond. Through stories spanning four decades and three continents, Bird embarks on an unsparing quest to understand her past and find forgiveness. In the process, she paints an unforgettable portrait of addiction, betrayal, and the unexpected joy that can prevail on the far side of loss.
Here’s the “editor’s blurb” from the publisher:
“Lydia Bird does what the best memoirists do—she brings out the humanity in even the most difficult, unlikable characters and holds herself up for judgment. I found this family memoir, which spans four decades, unforgettable.”
—Paula Derrow
And here’s a Q&A from the Shebooks blog:
Q What prompted you to write While You Were Drinking?
I’ve been writing about my relationship with my mom for decades. In fact, one of the chapters of While You Were Drinking was first fictionalized as a short story back in 1979. This material is central to who I am, and I keep wanting to dig deeper with it. It was gratifying—and therapeutic—to reshape these six stories into a short memoir.
Q When did you realize you wanted to be a writer?
When I was maybe eight years old, a friend of my parents asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I said, “A poet.” I have no idea where that answer came from—I didn’t grow up in a particularly literary family—but I started writing compulsively not long afterward, and haven’t stopped since. I even won a poetry prize in college, though it’d be a stretch to call myself a poet.
Q Have you ever experienced sexism as a woman writer? How so?
My first mainstream publication was a 5,000-word feature article in Sports Illustrated. It was about my father’s life-changing experience lost at sea in a small boat, and I wrote it—and queried about it—in his voice. It wasn’t until the magazine made an offer that I confessed that the story was written not by the protagonist but by his daughter—not just a woman, but a 24-year-old! To say they were chagrined is to put it mildly. After some negotiating, we finally agreed that the check would go to me, but the byline would be solely my father’s. To give them credit, they didn’t try to renegotiate the payment amount, which remains the most I’ve ever been paid per word for my writing.
Q Do you currently have a job other than writing? What other day jobs have you had?
I’m a freelance editor, working directly with authors on their book projects. Other jobs? I taught sailing for years. I cleaned rooms at a military base in Germany, helped restore an old farmhouse in Provence, cooked on a charter boat in the Caribbean and catered private dinner parties in Paris. I wrote resumes for a resume service. I worked for a private investigator. I groomed thoroughbreds at Hollywood Park and Arabians at a breeding farm in the Santa Ynez Valley. A lot of these experiences have found their way into my writing.
Q What projects are you working on now?
I’m developing a couple of storytelling ideas for radio—a very different form of writing than polishing every word for print, but great fun. I’m also finishing the work-in-progress memoir from which While You Were Drinking was excerpted. It’s about seeking out family secrets, and also letting them go.